Recently I've found myself running from boys, both directly and indirectly. So long as interactions are few and far between and/or not too sustained, I'm fine. But when they turn to day-in and day-out interactions, I flee. And I can't decide if this is good or bad.
Perhaps it is because I have tried to have healthful friendships with boys in the past and screwed up badly. Or perhaps I fear of getting into another relationship because it's the last thing I'm looking for right now.
I just don't really know how to have healthy, sustained, close friendships with boys anymore.
For whatever reason, I am unsettled.
Some days, I wish we could go back to the days where we all run around like crazy and boys think girls are gross so I didn't have to the think about the pressure of marriage, which I am far from ready for.
But I find myself a contradiction when I hear of close friends getting married, for it brings me so much joy to hear their stories.
...No, this entry does not have a conclusive thought :)