Tuesday, January 4, 2011

It's been a long time since I've been so excited to see my brothers.

Recently I've found myself running from boys, both directly and indirectly. So long as interactions are few and far between and/or not too sustained, I'm fine. But when they turn to day-in and day-out interactions, I flee. And I can't decide if this is good or bad.

Perhaps it is because I have tried to have healthful friendships with boys in the past and screwed up badly. Or perhaps I fear of getting into another relationship because it's the last thing I'm looking for right now.

I just don't really know how to have healthy, sustained, close friendships with boys anymore.

For whatever reason, I am unsettled.

Some days, I wish we could go back to the days where we all run around like crazy and boys think girls are gross so I didn't have to the think about the pressure of marriage, which I am far from ready for.

But I find myself a contradiction when I hear of close friends getting married, for it brings me so much joy to hear their stories.

...No, this entry does not have a conclusive thought :)